The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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