we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
