babies were throwing up all over the place
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
