Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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