your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
