I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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