Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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