Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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