im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
