Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
