something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
