ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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