so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
