Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
