what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
