Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
