I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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