Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
