I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need water and some morals
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
