so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
barbara walters just said penis...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
