The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
