So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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