I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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