i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
