You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
