Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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