he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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