how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
