I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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