sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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