so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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