8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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