i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
