we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
