so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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