So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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