so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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