i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
