why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
