every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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