Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is Oprah even human
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
