Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
