You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
