sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
