I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
