Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
