He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
