dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
