Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
