stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
